Out Again

This is not what I originally wanted to post, but I'm going to anyway. This is a pretty personal post and if you aren't interested, feel free to not read it. However, I've found that sharing can make you feel better about a bad situation.

I don't know if I've mentioned that the teaching job I have is an INR (intent not to rehire) position. This is because I was hired after the school year started (I lost my job for 08-09 due to budget cuts). I've known all year that I would have to reapply for my position and reinterview. I am not the only one in this position, the school is growing fast and needed several new teachers right around the beginning of school.

So, we reapplied for our jobs back in March and have been waiting (im)patiently for the interviews. There were two science positions posted and 75 applicants for those 2 positions. (Does anyone remember when a few years ago there were never enough math and science teachers?) We have asked the person in charge of interviews repeatedly when he was planning on them and there have been many responses, most of which did not happen and interviews were put off. I think the most upsetting response was "I haven't even thought about it." Well, that's nice that my job and livelihood mean so little to this person.

We (finally) had the interviews last Friday. I was told yesterday that the position I now hold was offered to someone else. I didn't ask for a reason because the last time I got a reason from this Person-In-Charge my ego was severely bruised and I ended up feeling pretty worthless. I think one of the hardest parts is that I've been asking since March if I should be concerned or start looking for another job. I had been told repeatedly (not by said Person-In-Charge) that I would be preferred over anyone unknown, they always rehire INRs (I really do break records), and it really just a formality. Well, so much for reassurances.

It is now May and most schools have already posted their positions for next year and filled those positions, but I have started looking. I have heard from many supporting friends and family members that I am awesome and will find another job. The school is stupid for not realizing what an asset I am. My least favorite was "that isn't fair." We're adults here, life isn't fair and we know that.

Here are a few things that concern me most:

• What school will want to hire a new teacher that will have to go on maternity leave a month after school starts?
• I won't have maternity leave at a new school, so I'll lose pay.
• If I don't find another teaching job, my insurance coverage will end 2 weeks before I deliver and most other businesses require you to work 6 months before you get benefits.

I know we will get by and a solution will come up because I will make a solution. However, this was not the best time to dump more stress on me. Right now my plan is to look for a job and in the mean time do all of those things I was planning on to grow Honu Naturals. I got lots of ideas at the Soapmakers Conference in Denver and I was starting to put them to use. Who knows if I adjust my time scale, I may not need another teaching job anyway.

My favorite quote from this past week: "Life isn't fair. You don't get a free pass just because you try hard." -Donna Maria Coles Johnson

So true and what an inspiration she is to keep on trying!